St. Jude Chapel makes me sad

Have you ever seen a boyfriend/girlfriend/close friend that you used to be really tight with, but have been apart from for quite some time? There is still a sense of intimacy, of familiarity, but there's just something that really reminds you "you can't go home again."

I went to St. Jude chapel today. Being there makes me so deeply sad. There are parts of me that still love so much about that chapel. I have a very special bond with that chapel - it's the chapel where I solidified my love for the Catholic church. I spent many intimate hours with Christ there, worshiping him at the tabernacle as I prayed or meditated or worshiped during Mass. Going there always makes me feel comfortable and safe. For a bit.

And then the priest walks in. He walked in today at 12p, no vestments (the mass starts at 12:10p). The "lighting" of the second Advent candle was comprised of the priest sticking a velcro candle flame onto a banner hanging from the front of the altar. While they have managed to get a new cantor, no one sang. No one at all.

The priest has yet to stop his amazingly annoying habit of saying a joke before his homily. Here's how his homily started out: A man finds out that he has leukemia. He decides to fulfill his life's dream and become a painter in the short while he has left on this earth. He gives his paintings to a gallery to sell. He calls the gallery a little later in the week, and asks if the paintings sold. The gallery owner says, I have some good news and some bad news. The painter asks to hear the good news first. The gallery owner said that someone looked at the paintings and asked if they would be worth more when the painter died, I said yes, and he bought every one of your paintings. And the bad news, asked the painter? The gallery owner said, the man was your doctor. Now, it was supposed to be a joke, I'm sure, but out of the pews came this huge "Awwwww ...." It was hilarious!

At any rate, it breaks my heart. It used to taste like spiritual Steak to me, and now it tastes like cold Chicken McNuggets.

I have found that I do enjoy going to the Cathedral. I've been going there for months now. I've made a few friends. Now that I'm a member of the congregation, however, some of the flaws are more apparent. But I still go, as I feel like it's where I need to be spiritually.