Prayer Part II
I received a comment on my last post about prayer that said this:
It's too bad you didn't take prayer seriously when you were a member of the true church. If you had taken Moroni's challenge, and prayed 'with real intent', you wouldn't have taken the path you are currently on. But, prayer in any context is good. So best wishes.
So here's my comment back. In public, so that no one misses it.
Dear Anonymous (if that is your real name):
I want to make one thing PERFECTLY clear. I begged, I pleaded, I cried for an answer to whether the Church was true. I prayed in sacrament meetings, I prayed in the Celestial Room every single time I went to the Temple. I prayed and begged for the simple answer promised in Moroni. You know the one. In case it's been a few years since you've scripture chased, here it is:
And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
This is one of the very first scriptures that Mormon missionaries share with investigators. Pray for the truthfulness and you will receive an answer.
So why didn't I receive an answer? I did EVERYTHING I was supposed to do! I prayed, I tithed, I went to church EVERY week, I read the entire Book of Mormon cover to cover, I became worthy and went through the Temple to receive my endowments. (By the way, my "new name" is Rhoda. Feel free to use it if you need it to get into Heaven.) I prayed in the Celestial Room to the point of tears, begging for the truth. I fulfilled my callings, except for Visiting teaching, but nobody really does that anyway. I was a good Mormon for years and did what I was supposed to do and NEVER received the testimony that simple investigators are encouraged to find.
Don't EVER say I did not have real intent and that's why I don't know the truth! I would have done anything to know the Church was true! And I did do absolutely everything in my power to find the truth.
I found out recently what I was missing, though. I wasn't asking for mercy. I wasn't asking for God's love to come into my life. I never asked to let God mold me into what he wanted me to be. Honestly, I didn't ask much for forgiveness, except to ask forgiveness for not being "good" enough.
I felt so alone in the Mormon church. I felt more alone sitting in a room full of people in the Temple than I did anywhere else on earth. I felt unworthy, unblessed. I begged for friends, a spouse, a meaning. And I never got it.
Being Catholic, I've made a few friends. I'm married now, so I'm a lot less lonely there. But I was looking to fill a void with people and with a culture that could only be filled by knowing the true Christ and true God, and letting them come into my life and letting me learn how to love them. Our Lady, the blessed mother of Christ, has held my hand and gently lead me to her Son, our Lord. I've made numerous friends in the Saints of the Catholic church, learning their stories and following the path that they laid down their blood, sweat, tears and lives to forge. The friends that I have now in the Catholic church are just a perk. If all I had was a parish, and a priest, and the Eucharist, my sould would still leap with joy.
The Eucharist! Oh, my God, how unworthy I am to be in the presence! And yet every time I go into church, there He is. In a little over two weeks, I will be able to receive the host, to have the most intimate communion with God that a person can have on this earth. There is NOTHING in Mormonism like it. Have I mentioned I've been to the temple? Yeah, that's total bupkus compared to sitting in front of the tabernacle in my church, praying to God and feeling his love wash over me.
So you see, you are wrong about me. The God of Mormonism did not give me an answer to the truth of the Mormon church because the Mormon church is not true. God is who He is. And I have found him in the heart and soul of the Catholic church. My joy now is profound. I ache for you and for all Mormons that you will not join me in this profound and heartfelt joy. I pray often for the conversion of Mormons to the true church of Christ.
I encourage you to check out some of the links on the side of my blog to find out more about the history and true doctrine of the Mormon church. I will pray for you and hope that you too will find the happiness that I have found.