Friday, March 31

Prayer Part II

I received a comment on my last post about prayer that said this:

Anonymous said...
It's too bad you didn't take prayer seriously when you were a member of the true church. If you had taken Moroni's challenge, and prayed 'with real intent', you wouldn't have taken the path you are currently on. But, prayer in any context is good. So best wishes.

So here's my comment back. In public, so that no one misses it.

Dear Anonymous (if that is your real name):

I want to make one thing PERFECTLY clear. I begged, I pleaded, I cried for an answer to whether the Church was true. I prayed in sacrament meetings, I prayed in the Celestial Room every single time I went to the Temple. I prayed and begged for the simple answer promised in Moroni. You know the one. In case it's been a few years since you've scripture chased, here it is:

Moroni 10:4
And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

This is one of the very first scriptures that Mormon missionaries share with investigators. Pray for the truthfulness and you will receive an answer.

So why didn't I receive an answer? I did EVERYTHING I was supposed to do! I prayed, I tithed, I went to church EVERY week, I read the entire Book of Mormon cover to cover, I became worthy and went through the Temple to receive my endowments. (By the way, my "new name" is Rhoda. Feel free to use it if you need it to get into Heaven.) I prayed in the Celestial Room to the point of tears, begging for the truth. I fulfilled my callings, except for Visiting teaching, but nobody really does that anyway. I was a good Mormon for years and did what I was supposed to do and NEVER received the testimony that simple investigators are encouraged to find.

Don't EVER say I did not have real intent and that's why I don't know the truth! I would have done anything to know the Church was true! And I did do absolutely everything in my power to find the truth.

I found out recently what I was missing, though. I wasn't asking for mercy. I wasn't asking for God's love to come into my life. I never asked to let God mold me into what he wanted me to be. Honestly, I didn't ask much for forgiveness, except to ask forgiveness for not being "good" enough.

I felt so alone in the Mormon church. I felt more alone sitting in a room full of people in the Temple than I did anywhere else on earth. I felt unworthy, unblessed. I begged for friends, a spouse, a meaning. And I never got it.

Being Catholic, I've made a few friends. I'm married now, so I'm a lot less lonely there. But I was looking to fill a void with people and with a culture that could only be filled by knowing the true Christ and true God, and letting them come into my life and letting me learn how to love them. Our Lady, the blessed mother of Christ, has held my hand and gently lead me to her Son, our Lord. I've made numerous friends in the Saints of the Catholic church, learning their stories and following the path that they laid down their blood, sweat, tears and lives to forge. The friends that I have now in the Catholic church are just a perk. If all I had was a parish, and a priest, and the Eucharist, my sould would still leap with joy.

The Eucharist! Oh, my God, how unworthy I am to be in the presence! And yet every time I go into church, there He is. In a little over two weeks, I will be able to receive the host, to have the most intimate communion with God that a person can have on this earth. There is NOTHING in Mormonism like it. Have I mentioned I've been to the temple? Yeah, that's total bupkus compared to sitting in front of the tabernacle in my church, praying to God and feeling his love wash over me.

So you see, you are wrong about me. The God of Mormonism did not give me an answer to the truth of the Mormon church because the Mormon church is not true. God is who He is. And I have found him in the heart and soul of the Catholic church. My joy now is profound. I ache for you and for all Mormons that you will not join me in this profound and heartfelt joy. I pray often for the conversion of Mormons to the true church of Christ.

I encourage you to check out some of the links on the side of my blog to find out more about the history and true doctrine of the Mormon church. I will pray for you and hope that you too will find the happiness that I have found.


At 1:27 PM, Blogger DKC said...

Now that response really makes my "bosom burn"

At 2:53 PM, Anonymous Victor said...

You probably are already more catholic than many "Catholics"! I seldom read a profession of faith that profound!!! Wow...

At 3:15 PM, Anonymous Celticcherokee said...


At 9:17 PM, Blogger Kathy said...

Your reply brought tears to my eyes. You continue to be an inspiration.

At 11:39 PM, Blogger David said...


At 12:08 AM, Anonymous Renae said...

I find your new-found passion and love for the Catholic Church admirable. That joy is something every soul seeks and finds residence.
I'm not sure what kind of a place the Mormon Church had in your heart or what place it has now, but please, in your enthusiasm, don't degrade/disrespect something thought by others to be sacred, holy, and profound. I have spent quite a bit of time sitting in front of the tabernacle of Catholic churches, but all my profound spiritual experiences tell me the Mormon church is true. I would never intentionally say anything to disrespect or degrade that which is held so dear by so many. (Although, I'm sure I do it unintentionally plenty.)
May God only continue to bless you and bring you closer to him.

At 4:13 PM, Blogger darthlaurie said...

You have a beautiful testimony. I had a similar experience in the Mormon Church. As a child I went to church without my parents and I was constantly teased by Mormon kids my age (among others). I was fortunate enough to trust in my own spirituality and it helped me withstand the many challenges I experienced.
When I was 25 I was able to take a break from caring for my disabled mom and go to England. I spent a lot of time in the ancient churches, most of them now Protestant but once they were Catholic. I loved how all the church doors were always open. You never see that in Utah. On my last day in Cambridge I saw a woman riding a bike get hit by a car. After talking to the cops and giving them all the necessary information, I ran to the nearest church and spent the time I needed there to calm down and thank the Lord that the woman wasn't too seriously injured.
After I returned home, things weren't the same. I became homesick for England and the freedom and vitality I had there. By the next year I was struggling. I prayed for peace of mind and for God to love me as he used to love me. I too was doing everything right. I couldn't even walk into a church without feeling like I was being smothered or that for whatever reason I shouldn't be there. At one point I was so depressed that I figured taking my life was the best thing I could do since I felt like I was going to hell anyways.
To make a long story short, I met an amazing man...he taught me so much about love and life. Basically I did a few things that according to most religions I shouldn't do...but for me they were as profound and spiritual as certain revelations I had as a kid. I was alive again...and once I was healed we found out my beloved had lung cancer. I learned a lot about spirituality and strength while I took care of him. It was an honor to be chosen to take care of him.
After he died I realized that there is absolutely no way I can know the mind of God. No person can truly comprehend the greatness and complexity of God. I let all of my preconceptions about God go and decided that what God thought of me was irrelevant. I'm not going to change a supreme being's attitude if said being doesn't want to change. What I can do is pay attention to my spiritual instincts and lead a good life and be kind to others. That's what I've chosen to do.
I am at last at peace and I'm able to use my talents and love to heal and help others. The one thing I know for sure about God is that being kind to others is extremely's a key lesson that seems to be a message found in every religion. That's what works for me...but once again, I loved your testimony and hearing the journey I went on is a paralell path that others have experienced and the outcome for each of us is profound and exactly what we need. Best wishes,


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