I feel very comfortable in my groove that I've developed since Easter. I pray the morning and evening prayers of the Liturgy of the Hours almost every day. I go to Daily Mass 2-3 times a week at least, plus I go to St. Jude Chapel on Saturday and Sunday. I pray when I can, and read when I can. I keep up with my Catholic board, and I'm so grateful to all the Catholic bloggers who keep me informed on what's going on in the political arena with the Catholic church, both nationally and globally.
I am also trying to make sure to focus attention on my husband more, because I don't want to become so involved in being a "Good Catholic" that I become a bad wife. It's important to me for us to continue to have a good relationship.
Since finding out this weekend that St. Jude Chapel will be getting a new permanent rector and that they will continue to have Saturday and Sunday Mass, I feel like a lot of pressure has been taken off of my shoulders. I was really stressing about whether I should continue to go to the Cathedral or if I should switch to St. Thomas Aquinas. Both options had their plusses and minuses. But I honestly only want to go to St. Jude. I'm happy and comfortable there. I know the faces, and I know many of the people. Plus it's so close - half a block from the front door of my loft building. I don't even have to cross the street to get there! The seats are comfy and it's always nice and cool there. The mosaics in the church are gorgeous - I really need to go take pictures and post them. There's lots of carpeting and padding, so the accoustics are such that even when there are fussy babies it is still quiet and peaceful.
I'm also very comfortable at Holy Family where I go to daily Mass. I really like the people, and again, I am getting to know the faces of the regulars pretty well.
I think one of the things that I like about the way that I worship right now is that I can go, do my Mass thing, pay my offering when they have it, and leave. When I was Mormon, I knew that as soon as I walked in the door that I was going to be given a "calling" or a responsibility to perform in the church. In my many different wards (a ward is equivalent to a Parish), I was called often to be in the Primary (children's sunday school) as a teacher and I was librarian a few times. In one Singles Ward, my whole job was to make covers for the programs for each week, and to print them in the library on the copier. I was also called frequently to be a "Visiting Teacher" to other women, visiting their homes once a month to check up on them. But I very rarely ever visited the people I was supposed to visit.
I know at some point I will want to become more involved with the organizations at church. But for now, I am just happy being Catholic, doing Catholic things, reveling in the prayers and in the Mass. It makes me happy just to sit there and be a part of the community. I don't want to get too involved - I want to keep it simple for now. I just want to work on developing my relationship with God, which is a difficult job in and of itself.
I think I'm just a little gunshy after seeing some of the problems that have happened at St. Jude and at the Cathedral since going both places. Things can get very complicated very fast when life happens to the priests and to to the members. My beliefs and my testimony are still very fragile. I still feel like a total newbie, faking it the best I can and praying that God will give me guidance to be able to make it through until I am stronger in my faith.