Sunday, April 2

Johnny B Goode

There's a quote from Teresa of Avila, who is very quickly becoming one of my favorite saints. She said, "Let nothing disturb thee; Let nothing dismay thee; All thing pass; God never changes. Patience attains all that it strives for. He who has God finds he lacks nothing: God alone suffices." That is a very profound statement from a very spiritual woman. Something I've had to learn being Catholic is that what I can do is enough, and if I fall, I can be forgiven. To quote another wise man, my RCIA teacher, "No matter how hard you try, you can't be Jesus."

One thing I struggle with being Catholic is that All or Nothing mentality I had when I was Mormon. If I wasn't perfect, I was a failure. If I didn't read the scriptures every day, and pray morning and night and do my callings and go to church every Sunday yadda yadda yadda I was living in sin and was a "bad Mormon."

I set quite a few goals at the beginning of Lent. Some I have kept, some I have let fall to the wayside.

One goal was my sacrafice goal. I pleged to give up all drinks except for water and juices. Yeah, this got old fast. Other than about 5 sips of drinks that were not water or juice, I'm doing well. I have been drinking sparkling water and water with lime a lot, but still nothing with sugar or caffeine.

I also pledged to say the Divine Rosary every day, which I've done almost every day. Not quite every day, but close.

I made a pledge to spend time in front of the Blessed Sacrament every day. I did this for a few weeks, but then started to really feel burned out. My friend L told me that it took her years before she felt ready to go to Mass every day, and to not get burned out. Take baby steps if I needed to. I stopped going as often, although still spending a lot of time at churches, and I felt better. I didn't need to push myself so much. Plus it's made the times when I can get in front of the tabernacle for a while very special.

I'm still spending a lot of time Being Catholic this Lent. But I do what I can, and pray constantly for guidance, and I feel like I'm doing well. I have 13 days to figure out how ready I really am. I don't know if I'll ever feel totally ready. I just keep telling myself, God alone suffices. That's all I need. As long as I keep my eyes towards God, all else will work itself out. I don't need to pressure myself to be Mrs SuperCatholic at this stage. When I'm ready to begin a devotion in my life to draw myself closer to Christ, it will come.

It doesn't matter what speed I'm going as long as I'm headed in the right direction.

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